Where is the best place to find love? My single lady friends ask me this all the time.
Online dating, Meet-up groups. Church. Through friends. Volunteering.
While these are all great places, these are not the best places to find LOVE.
Want to know where?
The best place to find love is in yourself first.
Love myself, you say? Of course, I love myself. But I’d like you to take some time to really think about this.
In my experience, I have found that you have to love yourself first, before you can love someone else fully and from a healthy place.
Here is how I know this. Before I met my husband of 14 years, I had so many wounded places from my past that had to be healed. I wasn’t really loving myself when I made poor choices in husbands and boyfriends.
Underneath I had two themes going. There must be something wrong with me (therefore settling for less than what I wanted and needed in a relationship) and I have to be perfect to be loved (so I made myself into what they considered perfect and compromised my own values.)
Does this ring true for you, too? Are there parts of you that need healing and shifting before you can truly love another?
So what do you have to do to love yourself first? It may sound kind of cheesy or self-indulgent to love yourself, but I promise you when you achieve it, you will be much better able to attract the kind of person who will love and cherish you as you deserve to be loved and cherished.
Here are a couple of first steps:
- Take a good look at your thoughts. What kind of self-talk goes on in your mind about how you look and feel about yourself, what you want, what went wrong before? It all starts there. Write them all down. Then start examining the feeling you get when you think those thoughts. Then what actions do you take as a result of the feeling? And then what is the result? Then you can start turning those thoughts around to ones that will move you forward in a positive way. I’ll go more into this in a future post, but if you would like to go back and see how I have explained this process in previous posts, CLICK here and here.
- Treat your body with love and respect. Do you speak critically about it? Do you stand in front of the mirror and tear down each part of it that you think is less than desirable? Have you ever said nice things to your reflection? Do you feed it foods that don’t serve you and make you feel bad? When is the last time you did something really special for it- it can be as small as buying a great smelling body wash for the shower or buying some beautiful fresh berries or veggies to prepare, instead of a gallon of ice cream?
Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.” Mark 12:30-31
What can you do today to start to be kind, compassionate and loving to yourself today?
That’s the best place to find love first.
Would you like some help in getting ready for love? My signature program includes looking at what did not work before, what you want in the future, taking care of your body, shifting those old thoughts, and more. Send me an email to jane@janespringer.com. I’ll get right back to you. We’ll have a 20 minute consultation to talk about your challenges in finding love and to see if we might be a good fit to work together.
If you would like my Divinely Inspired Weight Loss Guide to get started taking care of your body, CLICK HERE.
Hope to talk with you soon!
Blessings,
Jane
Jane Springer is a certified Life, Wellness and Style Coach who assists women in taking care of themselves, in body, mind and spirit. She coaches women who want to lose weight, avoid diabetes, and feel great. She also helps them thrive after divorce. She also helps them to clear their closets of old clothes and outdated attitudes, so they can shine and feel confident.